Kau Pergi...

Sayu terpisah

Hikayat indah kini hanya tinggal sejarah

Berhembus angin rindu
Begitu nyamannya terhidu wangian kasihmu

Hujan lebat mencurah kini
Bagaikan tiada henti

Kaulah laguku kau irama terindah
Tak lagi kudengari

Kau pergi... pergi...
Sepi tanpa kata

Terdiam dan kaku tak daya kau kulupa
Apa pun kata mereka

Biarkan kenangan berbunga di ranting usia
Hujan lebat mencurah kini
Bagaikan tiada henti

Kaulah laguku kau irama terindah
Tak lagi kudengari

Kau pergi... pergi...
Hujan lebat mencurah kini
Bagaikan tiada henti

Kaulah laguku kau irama terindah
Tak lagi kudengari

Kau pergi... pergi...

Kau pergi... pergi...
Pergi...

Mak Cik Cleaner

"Tingkat ni banyak Cina ke?" tanya mak cik tu.

"Tak la. Banyak Melayu. Kenapa mak cik?" aku tanya balik.

"Kenapa bersepah sangat lantai ni dengan tisu??" "Baru sehari takde orang cuci. Huh" keluh mak cik tu.

Kesian mak cik cleaner. Seksa dia kena bersihkan tandas tu. Tisu berterabur kat lantai, melekat2. Abu rokok dengan puntung rokok berterabur merata2. Ade je tong sampah dengan pasir untuk cucuh rokok tu, tapi orang suka bawak masuk jamban.

Mak cik tu baik. Tandas tu dia tutup untuk bersihkan, tapi dia masih kasi aku masuk untuk aku tukar baju. Berborak2 la kite.

Tandas tu memang kotor. Nama je kerja kat bank.

Orang2 sini terlalu selesa ada orang tolong bersihkan tandas 4x sehari. Tak pernah rasa kasihan dan beryukur.

Tolong lah, mak cik cleaner tu manusia biasa jugak. Ade perasaan, ade rase penat. Tak kesian ke kat dia?

"Diorang tu taktau ke mak cik keje teruk bersihkan tandas ni? Nak buat kerja HALAL pun susah. Takde orang hargai."

Tukang kutip sampah, tukang bersihkan longkang, sapu jalan, mak cik cleaner, semua ni kerja yang orang pandang hina dan remeh.

Tapi orang tak tau ke ni la kerja yang paling penting kat negara kita ni?

Tong sampah tak penuh berulat busuk penuh gagak; longkang tak tersumbat sampai banjir, jalan takde bangkai, selut, tanah, selamat untuk kereta dan motor; tandas pejabat dan awam tak busuk, najis bersepah2, busuk dan rosak, geli dan berkuman.

Takde diorang, sumpah korang taknak tinggal sini.

Hargai pengorbanan orang lain. Lagi2 mereka yang berusaha bersungguh2 untuk memberikan kita kesenangan dan keselesaan.

Gaji diorang mungkin sikit, tapi mereka la yang sanggup buat semua kerja yang kita tak sanggup buat.

"Mak cik buat kerja halal dik. Kat luar sana tu banyak makan gaji haram. Kereta besar, tapi rumah flet je. Dik rase camne die dapat kereta tu?"

Wallahualam.

Mak cik la hero negara.

Sweat.

I want a break from accounting, so i got a break from accounting.

Lessen the burden on my soul. And mind.

Do I like my new job?

Heck no!

Answering calls and solve their problems is not my cup of tea.

I get to do competitors' research.

I get to test their new online program.

I'm the youngest, so they expect I know all things old people don't.

I appreciate the trust and responsibility. And the workload.

No job is easy.

Earning money works a sweat.

I'll get around it somehow.

To the job I love most.

In the mean time, Alhamdulillah.

I'll take care of the bills, papi.

I'll give you extra allowance, mommy.

Brother's gonna bring you to the movies.

What? Toy Story?

Sure, gladly!

Of Lamborghini and Degree.

Convocation timeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay not.

What's so special, huh? huh?? huh???

Hot and humid, the hall is not nice (avoiding using negative word, like ugly. lolz), not grand, plain, old, creaky, dangerous (kinda look like it).

I've seen my friends' convocation overseas. OMFGBBQWTF! MAJESTIC! That's how it should be done.

The hall is grand. Or, maybe a stadium. Full of win.

I want a freaking ceremony in a park!!! That's hot! No. Not hot hot. But hot awesome hot.

I'd like to show you a picture. I kinda saw a picture of a friend of mine, his ceremony was freaking cool. But i forgot who, hence I can't find the picture.

So, no picture.

Imagine it yourself.

At night, on a park, with lots of lights.

Awesomeness.

Sourgrapes.

Actually, the fact is, I'm just plain disappointed. I'm not proud at all of my achievements. I think it is below par. Waaaaaay below.

I felt it when I took my Diploma. I set my mind not to feel the same thing when I take my Degree.

Alas.

Hence the name of the blog. I screwed up.

...

But I'm sure I'll forget all about it when I get my hand on my first million ringgit.

And Lamborghini.

Sick.

Balls!

I didn't bust my balls for more than 16 years just to be your Average Joe!

I want to be more than that!

I'm gonna take any opportunity by the scruff on the neck and make it something new and successful!

I have a point to prove.

Aku bingung.

Apa yang aku mahu sebenarnya?

Apa yang aku harapkan?

Apa yang aku impikan?

Keliru. Sungguh. Celaru.

Tak tahu apa yang aku nak. Tak tahu jalan apa yang aku harus ambil.

Adakah sebab nawaitu aku dulu lain dari apa yang aku nak sekarang?

Dulu nawaitu aku nak jadik pilot selepas belajar. Aku nak pass fizik dengan add maths supaya cukup syarat.

Alhamdulillah, aku dapat lebih dari apa yang aku sasarkan.

Rezeki bertambah murah apabila diberi peluang untuk sambung belajar di UiTM.

Tapi nawaitu aku nak menjadi juruterbang. Ayah tahu, adik tahu.

Tapi ayah mahu ku teruskan belajar sebagai pelapik di kala waktu susah. Aku paham dan aku setuju.

Manusia hanya boleh merancang, Allah SWT menentukan.

Adik aku meninggal dalam usaha mencapai cita2 aku dan dia.

Hati berbelah bagi.

Kalau teruskan cita2, mak mesti sedih dan fobia, ayah juga.

Aku ada degree perakaunan, macam2 boleh ambil.

Tapi, tu la. Niat tak sama. Nak buat keputusan pun tak tahu.

Jadi memilih, terlalu pandang ke hadapan, over ambitious.

Akhirnya apa2 pun tak dapat.

Istikharah dan doa supaya keputusan yang tepat dalam hidup dapat dibuat.

Its been a long time...

I miss him.
Doing nothing at home makes me bored.
And when i'm bored, only one person comes to mind.
Nothing is boring when he's there with me. There's always something that's entertaining.
Sometimes I wish I have so many things to do just to keep my mind off things. Like remembering the past.

He's gone now.
And i haven't visited him for a very long time. Very very long time.
He must be lonely too, huh? Just like me.
Going there exhausts me.
My mental state is just not up to the task.

Got to get myself a job real quick.
I don't look good compared to my other friends.
They look oh-so-successful and oh-so-happy and oh-so-responsible and reliable.

Nak jadik suami orang pon x boleeeeeeey...

Stop!

I need to get my life back in order.

I have to stop facebook-ing;
and lazying around in front of the computer, surfing the net 24/7.

I haven't read the paper in ages.
I don't know what's going on in the world.
I have to start reading from the front to the back; no skipping. Even the business section.
I'm entering the working world.
There's no place for a lazy bum and clueless young adult in this world.

I need to get myself back in order. Stat.

Stop logging into facebook is a start.

Poison

It is much easier to criticize your own country than moving to a new and 'better' country.

It is much easier to find faults of your own country than finding faults of another.

It is much easier to criticize your own country's politicians than be a good one yourself.

It is much easier to criticize and blame others than looking at your faults and weaknesses.

Less hate, more love and appreciation.

Band 5, so what??

I am not convinced with the statement "your good english can compensate for your low cgpa".

Really, how true is it? So what if i am good in english (sikit2 bole la...)?

I am not interviewing to become an english teacher. I want to be in finance.

English can only help me in writing reports or presentation and communication. But that's it really.

Ratios, financial statements, portfolios; all those stuff need brains, not english.

I'm feeling a bit low.

I don't think i can get a good job due to my bad results.

I'm not smart enough to be employed by big companies. Hmmm...

Aaaaaaaah!

OMG! I forgot i have a blog! LOL

No, i did not forget.

Just lazy. When I started, it was a fad.

Then I found out it was a great place to spill everything from your heart. And as a travel log.

But, when nothing interesting happens, this is the result.

NO UPDATE.

Berhabuk blog nyer.

Nanti2 la aku hapdet. Kalau ade cerita gempak gaban nyer ke, melancong lagi ke, (I went to S.Korea last year, but too lazy to write here. ;p)

Anyways, see u laters, chums! And keep up the good work my fellow bloggers!

In an ideal muslim world...

Today, something came to my mind.

What if, we live in an ideal muslim world;

where women do not wear skimpy, tight-fitting clothes and instead wear baju kurung or jubah.

Would the perception of beauty change?

We have been fed with images of women in skimpy clothing and tight fitting clothes ever since we were born.

In effect, we assume beautiful women must have curvaceous body, long legs, tall, flowing hair, this kind of face, that skin colour, this big of a breast, etc, etc...

If we didn't grow up exposed to those kind of images?

I'm sure the word beauty will carry a different meaning.

Beautiful is the heart, the smile, the personality.

No one is judged based on appearance as no comparison is made.

No one set what is beautiful and what is not.

There will be no 'She has a beautiful body like that certain model', 'She has a beautiful face like that actress'.

There will only be 'She is beautiful'

If only we live in an ideal muslim world, I believe that no women will be discriminated, and prejudiced based on looks.

But we live in the reality.

What we can do is to change our mindset, to look into a person's ability, personality and inner beauty. Not the faces, the body.

As beauty is only skin deep, and it doesn't last forever.

Hmm.

Food for thought.