Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The past and the present

You forget the past, and look towards the future

But can you really forget about the past when it was the most interesting, fun, exciting, memorable time of your life? And suddenly the happiness was robbed off you. Okay, not robbed, but taken back.

The day he died, I made a solemn promise that I would visit his grave every morning every day. But until today, I could not fulfill that promise. I still cannot and do not like to go there.

Every time I go, I am filled with grief and sadness. I don't like it, I hate it. That is why, if I wanted to go there, I'd bring along Syahidatul.
Going with my family too, is not a wonderful experience. They make painful faces that I could not look at. Except maybe my sisters, who are excellent in hiding their emotions.
I do not know how long this feeling will last. I am always filled with guilt towards him, but if he were in my shoes, he would understand.
At the moment, let me ride the wave and wait till the ocean is calm again.

Happy Birthday bro. We always celebrated together, but good things will always come to an end.
But fret not, as I will surely be there to meet you (and so is our family) and we'll celebrate together again, as a family.

with love,
brother

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Guts and gusto

Hye people. Its been a long time, isn't it?
I've been very happy, and happy people don't have things to talk very much. ;p
Happy convocation guys, all of you deserved it.
All those sweat and tears, all those steps you took to get to class (when the elevators are not working), the marching in Kesatria, the Hari Kemerdekaan celebration at the stadium, the awful registration process we go through every semester; all of those for that particular day. Convocation.
You guys did well. Some of you bloody well!
I witnessed your sacrifices, i saw how you guys worked so hard, it wasn't easy, but you guys made it!
Absolutely proud, guys! Four and a half years! Straight after SPM! Others got big breaks after SPM, we went straight back to hell! Did it with guts, finished with gusto!
I am not so fortunate, along with few other guys (and gals), consequences of mistakes that we made, but truthfully we share the happiness that u guys felt.
We went through the same thing, together. We just got stuck somewhere in the middle (in my case, at the end).
You guys achievements does not hearten us, instead we get motivation. It lit the fire in us to work extra harder to catch up to you guys. We want to experience it too. We worked hard too. We deserve it too.
I was very happy to see Syahidatul happy! So do watching you guys at the ceremony. All full of smiles.
Good luck everyone. Good luck in your life and your future undertakings.
Be successful, but never forget the memories and bonds that we have. Successful people never forget those things.

OMEDETO! TAHNIAH! CONGRATULATIONS!

p.s. aku dah datang korang nyer konvo, datang la jugak aku punya. (T.T)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

730 days...

What a wonderful feeling. I feel like I have achieved something memorable. I don't achieve much, but this is special. Wonderful. Full of LOVE! ♥♥♥ hehe
To my dearest Syahidatul, Happy 2nd Anniversary.
It wasn't easy, but we made it.
I hope it will lead to another type of anniversary, one which any couple will be proud of.
Here's hoping; wishing it would come true and it lasts forever and ever and ever and ever....

Here's to 730 days of pure joy and happiness!


Thursday, August 27, 2009

I found a blog.

I found a blog.

The author is a soon-to-be-doctor, currently doing his internship (what's the term for medic students?) in Egypt.
Very awesome blog, inspirational, emotional, powerful. He describes his experience, adventure vividly, u feel like you are there with him, beside him and watching the whole thing.
But, this blog is not for those with a faint heart. His post sometimes contains pictures that are quite disturbing (dead babies, for example...)
Other than that, a wonderful blog. Tells a story of a doctor's life (or, soon to be doctor) perfectly.
Wonder what a medic student go through during his/her course of learning? Read the blog. Highly recommended.

I present to you,

faizalbobby.blogspot

p.s. to doc, sorry i post your link even before you agree to it. It is too awesome not to unveil it to my readers as soon as possible. haha! If you disagree, tell me and i'll remove it in a flash.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

1 tahun...

2o tahun bersama rasa sekejap bagai sekelip mata...
1 tahun tak bersama rasa lama tak terkata...
Sampai abang mati, setiap hari abang akan ingat Ariff.
Semoga kite berjumpa lagi, insyaAllah di Syurga kelak.


28/12/1988 - 20/08/2008
al Fatihah...
blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com

Sunday, August 16, 2009

hm hm hm...

dah lama xde post baru. x tau la, mood nak berblogging xde sekarang ni. bukan xde isu nak luahkan, tapi bila part nak ber-blogging, xnak keluar pulak isu tu.
blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com

kenapa dalam BM pulak ni? haha

sebab ayah aku baca blog ni. dia mengkritik BI aku, mengatakan BI aku semakin teruk.
blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com

jadi, aku akan berhenti berblogging dalam BI sehingga mutu BI aku meningkat.

jadi sekarang, aku bercadang untuk berhenti berblogging buat sementara waktu. bak kata omputeh, 'in a hiatus'.
mahu kumpul ilham, mood, memperbaiki bahasa dan apa2 je lah yang diperlukan untuk berblogging. haha.

akhir kata, selamat berpuasa dan jaga diri elok2.
selsema babi tengah membabi sekarang. jadi, ambil langkah berjaga2 sebelum terlambat.
ashraf sayang anda semua! hahahaha!

blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Adik yang berjasa...

Umrah ke2 dalam 2 tahun. Satu keluarga pergi, termasuk maktok, mak dah dan mak esah. Ariff belanja. Alhamdulillah. Terima kasih Ariff.

Ayah aku kata; "Abang nak sambung belajar, sambung la. Ayah boleh support. Ariff punya duit banyak..."
Hati sayu lagi sedih "Patutnya abang yang sponsor adik belajar, bukan sebaliknya..."

Dah 22 tahun, dah cukup tua untuk menjalankan tanggungjawab sebagai seorang abang. Tapi x dapat pun berkhidmat untuk adik yang tersayang. Silap kat mana ni?

"Ya Allah, kau tabahkan lah hati ku, kuatkan semangat ku, berikan aku kejayaan di dunia dan akhirat semoga aku dapat berjasa pada keluarga ku. Kau berkatilah roh arwah adik ku, berikan lah aku peluang untuk berjumpa dengannya di akhirat nanti. Amiiiin"

Thursday, July 16, 2009

A very touching and sad story...T_T

Detik-detik Rasulullah SAW Menghadapi Sakaratul Maut

Ada sebuah kisah tentang cinta yang sebenar-benar cinta yang dicontohkan Allah melalui kehidupan Rasul-Nya.

Pagi itu, walaupun langit telah mulai menguning, burung-burung gurun enggan
mengepakkan sayap. Pagi itu, Rasulullah dengan suara terbatas memberikan kutbah,
"Wahai umatku, kita semua ada dalam kekuasaan Allah dan cinta kasih-Nya. Maka taati
dan bertakwalah kepada-Nya. Kuwariskan dua perkara pada kalian,Al Qur'an dan
sunnahku. Barang siapa mencintai sunnahku, bererti mencintai aku dan kelak orang-orang yang mencintaiku, akan masuk syurga bersama-sama aku."

Khutbah singkat itu diakhiri dengan pandangan mata Rasulullah yang tenang dan
penuh minat menatap sahabatnya satu persatu. Abu Bakar menatap mata itu dengan
berkaca-kaca, Umar dadanya naik turun menahan nafas dan tangisnya. Usman menghela nafas panjang dan Ali menundukkan kepalanya dalam-dalam. Isyarat itu telah datang, saatnya sudah tiba."Rasulullah akan meninggalkan kita semua,"keluh hati semua sahabat.

Kala itu. Manusia tercinta itu, hampir selesai menunaikan tugasnya di dunia.Tanda-tanda itu semakin kuat,tatkala Ali dan Fadhal dengan cergas menangkap Rasulullah yang
berkeadaan lemah dan goyah ketika turun dari mimbar. Disaat itu, kalau mampu, seluruh sahabat yang hadir di sana pasti akan menahan detik-detik berlalu. Matahari kian tinggi, tapi pintu rumah Rasulullah masih tertutup. Sedang di dalamnya, Rasulullah sedang terbaring lemah dengan keningnya yang berkeringat dan membasahi pelepah kurma yang menjadi alas tidurnya.

Tiba-tiba dari luar pintu terdengar seorang yang berseru mengucapkan salam.
"Bolehkah saya masuk?" tanyanya. Tapi Fatimah tidak mengizinkannya masuk,
"Maafkanlah, ayahku sedang demam," kata Fatimah yang membalikkan badan
dan menutup pintu.Kemudian ia kembali menemani ayahnya yang ternyata sudah
membuka mata dan bertanya pada Fatimah,
"Siapakah itu wahai anakku?""Tak tahulah ayahku, orang sepertinya baru sekali ini aku
melihatnya," tutur Fatimah lembut. Lalu, Rasulullah menatap puterinya itu dengan
pandangan yang menggetarkan. Seolah-olah bahagian demi bahagian wajah anaknya itu
hendak dikenangnya.
"Ketahuilah, dialah yang menghapuskan kenikmatan sementara, dialah yang
memisahkan pertemuan di dunia.Dialah malaikat maut," kata Rasulullah,
Fatimah pun menahan ledakkan tangisnya. Malaikat maut datang menghampiri, tapi
Rasulullah menanyakan kenapa Jibril tidak ikut sama menyertainya. Kemudian panggilah
Jibril yang sebelumnya sudah bersiap di atas langit dunia menyambut roh kekasih Allah
dan penghulu dunia ini."Jibril, jelaskan apa hakku nanti di hadapan Allah?" Tanya
Rasululllah dengan suara yang amat lemah."Pintu-pintu langit telah terbuka, para
malaikat telah menanti rohmu. Semua syurga terbuka lebar menanti kedatanganmu," kata Jibril. Tapi itu ternyata tidak membuatkan Rasulullah lega, matanya masih penuh
kecemasan."Engkau tidak senang mendengar khabar ini?" Tanya Jibril lagi. "Khabarkan
kepadaku bagaimana nasib umatku kelak?""Jangan khuatir, wahai Rasul Allah, aku
pernah mendengar Allah berfirman kepadaku: 'Kuharamkan syurga bagi siapa saja,
kecuali umat Muhammad telah berada didalamnya," kata Jibril

Detik-detik semakin dekat, saatnya Izrail melakukan tugas. Perlahan roh Rasulullah
ditarik. Nampak seluruh tubuh Rasulullah bersimbah peluh, urat-urat lehernya
menegang."Jibril, betapa sakit sakaratul maut ini." Perlahan Rasulullah mengaduh.
Fatimah terpejam, Ali yang disampingnya menunduk semakin dalam dan
Jibril memalingkan muka"Jijikkah kau melihatku, hingga kau palingkan wajahmu Jibril?"
Tanya Rasulullah pada Malaikat penghantar wahyu itu."Siapakah yang sanggup, melihat
kekasih Allah direnggut ajal," kata Jibril.

Sebentar kemudian terdengar Rasulullah memekik, kerana sakit yang tidak tertahankan
lagi."Ya Allah, dahsyat nian maut ini, timpakan saja semua siksa maut ini kepadaku,
jangan pada umatku."Badan Rasulullah mulai dingin, kaki dan dadanya sudah tidak
bergerak lagi. Bibirnya bergetar seakan hendak membisikkan sesuatu, Ali segera
mendekatkan telinganya."Uushiikum bis shalati, wa maa malakat aimanuku,peliharalah
shalat dan peliharalah orang-orang lemah di antaramu." Di luar pintu, tangisan mulai
terdengar bersahutan, sahabat saling berpelukan. Fatimah menutupkan tangan di
wajahnya, dan Ali kembali mendekatkan telinganya ke bibir Rasulullah yang mulai kebiruan.

"Ummatii, ummatii, ummatiii…" - "Umatku, umatku, umatku" Dan, berakhirlah hidup
manusia mulia yang memberi sinaran itu. Kini, mampukah kita mencintai sepertinya?
Allahumma sholli 'ala Muhammad wa baarik wa salim 'alaihi.
Betapa cintanya Rasulullah s.a.w kepada kita. Sampaikan kisah ini kepada sahabat-sahabat muslim lainnya agar timbul kesedaran untuk mencintai Allah dan RasulNya, seperti Allah dan RasulNya mencintai kita. Kerana sesungguhnya selain daripada itu hanyalah fana belaka.
Amin...

-credit to Rahimi-

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

let's talk about sincerity, shall we?

I've been thinking about it lately. Ever since the outburst in FB (so unwise, I admit) But, something caused it. To some people, it is minor. Nothing to get emotional about. But to me, it is everything. Friendship to me means being sincere, honest, trust. You don't be friends with someone just because he's rich, handsome or smart. That's fake. I treat my friends well, although not equally well, I have to admit. I expect the same treatment.
Now, when people asks you to hang out with them you would happily oblige unless you have other things to do. These are your friends, mind you. So, that is expected.
But then, you found out that the person who asks you out isn't sincere in asking you out. That friend is forced to ask you out just because you over heard their plan to go out, how would you feel?
I felt utterly horrible. Mad at the time, really. Overboard, I shamefully admit. Look, if you don't want me there, just say it. I WOULD UNDERSTAND! In fact, I would receive it better.

But, I shouldn't have gone overboard. I can be a bit emotional at times. Followers of my blog would agree with this statement. Saying HATE is easy, but to actually HATE someone is hard. Especially if you've known that person for a very long time. And when that person is actually nice, except for that one particular mistake.

I wouldn't put the names of people involved in this minor heated argument. If they read this, they would know who I was referring to.

I SINCERELY AND HUMBLY APOLOGISE.
blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com

I didn't mean what I say. It was the heat of the moment. I got carried away. I always do. Let's be friends again. Please?

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

New semester!

So, start of the semester, every student feels blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com .
First week of class everything seems blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com.
blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com hard, blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com early, all blogger-emoticon.blogspot.comand blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com.
2nd week of class, you receive your assignments. In truckload! You feel blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com.
Everything will go as planned! blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com Don't worry...
So, blogger-emoticon.blogspot.comit aside and blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com harder. Hey, students need to exercise too!
1st test came, you did well! blogger-emoticon.blogspot.comExcellent! Doesn't look so hard, isn't it?
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3rd week. Still ok.blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com. Assignment?blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com Still got a lot of time...relax!
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Days pass as if nothing happens. You did your usual student stuff.
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Final week of semester, u realised that you haven't started your assignments!
blogger-emoticon.blogspot.comblogger-emoticon.blogspot.com

You go into over drive blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com start ordering your team mates around blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com and luckily, you managed to submit it 1 minute before deadline!
blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com.

Time to celebrate!
blogger-emoticon.blogspot.comblogger-emoticon.blogspot.com
You look at your exam timetable; 2 weeks before 1st paper!!! blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com. Meh, whats the rush?
blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com.

If you study too early, you're gonna forget everything. So, chill!
blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com.

The last week before 1st paper. You start to be seriousblogger-emoticon.blogspot.com. Start blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com
3 days before 1st paper, you start to feel the
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A day before the exams!blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com but you couldn't understand anything.blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com.
You think you're
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You blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com and blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com so you seek blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com.
In the exam room, blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com.
Every paper seems so blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com!
After the exams, you feel blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com and blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com
At night you couldn't sleep
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Results came out, you blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com.


"I should have studied earlier!!!"
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But somehow, you did just enoughblogger-emoticon.blogspot.com and you managed to blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com!

Ain't that a relief? blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com.

So guys, enjoy your student life while you still can. Cherish the last moments in university. blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com hard, but be careful not to blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com and then feel blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com.
So, give it your blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com and shall we meet again!
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