Friday, June 8, 2007

modern love affair

"Love to a man is something. But to a woman, love is everything."

Is this true?
I do not know for i have not experienced it.
My own interpretation says;
'To a man, love is folly, not important, i can live without it, it is not a necessity'
'To a woman, love is very important, the reason to live, the essence of life, i can't live without it'

It's a one-sided affair, i say.
The other side waves it off as something distracting while the other deems it as important as their own precious life.

I find it disturbing.

I visited 2 blogs today and it proved the quote on top. The writer to both blogs are lovers.
The male's blog contains his everyday life, his university life, his work, sports, etc.
The female's blog contains about her everyday life, her friends and HER LOVE LIFE.
In every post of the woman's blog contains at least a mention of her beloved boyfriend.
But, in her lover's blog, only ONCE did i stumble upon the name of his lover's name.
Acting more professional maybe? maturity?

When i look at my parents, i say to myself 'that's how i want to love and be loved'
Married for 21 years (i'm 20), they still cuddle and send love sms to each other (my dad works in sarawak). My mom can't live without him, and that makes me worried.
But when i look at people these days, it makes me want to take back my words.
It's shocking how young people these days treat love as if it is like a tissue; they use it just to wipe their runny nose. Once you feel comfortable, you throw it away.

I grow sick and tired of hearing my friends' stories of their love life.
It never reached a happy ending. It's always the usual "we're just not meant to be", or "we're incompatible" or "we don't share the same interest".
Do they ever try making it work?!
Noooooooo. Instead they'll just find another one. and another one. and another one....

The male treat it like a sport.
The female treat it like a dress.

If love is as flimsy and fragile as it turns out to be, then i'd rather have none of it. I'd rather devote myself to my god, family, friends, and finally money as it makes people around me happy.

Do I even bother?

I don't think i'll be hardworking and update my blogs often. Who cares? You? Blimey. You should have told me. No one reads the blogs (my blog, to be exact). Do you? You do?! Gosh. I didn't know that! I'll keep that in mind. Interesting what I read on people's blog. Mostly heartbreaks of course (girls blogs, what do you expect? girls do update their blogs. ALL OF THEM! *gasp*) That's why I'm not in a relationship. It will never work out. Heh! (talk about excuses). Some, very few, have interesting stories; experiences. Very nice read indeed. Hope mine can be like that. Don't expect that though. I live a dull life. Dull as in 'wake-up-eat-shit-piss-sleep' kind of life.

So, why should I bother?
Simple. Not exactly. Strange how it works. But it does.
Writing is a form of expression. Better than talking. Because you don't feel shy. Or stupid. No one looks at your face. They don't count your pimples while you talk. No they don't! They just read. Slowly. Leisurely. They understand. Now they know. Magic, right? Unless they don't read. Now, that's a problem. Wait a minute. No it's not! Usually, people who don't read are ignorant of their surroundings. Don't be offended. If you feel offended, it means you're not one of the ignorants. You read this, right? Good for you! Automatically you've filtered the idiots...that's just too rough. Don't call them idiots. The I-don't-like-to-read. That's better.
Do you want me to continue writing?
I feel like it. It depends on my mood.
But if you like my blog, I'll write more. But you'll have to inform me. Leave a comment. Highly appreciated.

i walk a dark lonely road...

what's with the dark theme?
it seems kind of cliche these days; dark is a colour for masochists, the depressed, the suicidal...anything that is not-so-good.
i beg to differ.
i think dark colour is special.
a white dot on a piece of dark (black?) paper becomes instantly spotted.
that's the real reason for the existence of dark colours.
it highlights. make it recognizable. easy to spot. in other words, i can see you!
if only everything around me is black, then i'll be the white spot.
everyone can see me. everyone can recognise me. i'll be special.
unfortunately (or rather, fortunately) the surroundings aren't black. it's colourful.
i'm being selfish. i can't get everyone's attention. do i want to? i think not.
i'll try to blend in. it's not easy.
it seems everyone have their own groups; the dark white with white, the yellow with yellow, the blue with blue...(no. there are no blue people. i'm trying to say something. understand)
what colour am i?
the dilemma with young people these days; trying to find their inner self, their purpose of living, all these stuff.
if i don't know to what colour i belong, that means i'm in trouble.
do i jump ship to which is more popular? what's in or out ?
nah. i'll find it sooner or later.
people say be yourself, that works best.
i think so too.