Black Wednesday...

29 days after his death (20/08/2008)....
On this day (Wednesday), around 1730 hours...
Things have changed a lot since then.
I haven't seen my father happy ever since; my mom always have bags under her eyes and I can't seem to concentrate on everything that I do.
I guess what makes it a lot painful is that he is still young and he is about to embark on a new adventure where responsibility is his new game.
We can cry blood but he still won't come back to us. We have to accept that and move on; even by crawling if that is the only way we can manage...
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17 days of fasting, time seems to go faster than I could have imagined.
17 days of Ramadhan, I only missed 1 day of Terawih.
But, not even 1 day of that Terawih was I khusyuk.
My mind seems to fly during the prayer, partly because the imam recite the Quranic verses long and partly because I used to go to Terawih with my brother every day last year.
I kept thinking of him when I pray, I tried to focus but to no avail.
Because of that I did extra sunat prayers, just to cover all the dosa or lack of pahala during this Ramadhan.
I guess there is one good thing that comes from his death; it seems that I become eager to collect pahala so that I can meet him in heaven.
And hey, this is RAMADHAN! I don't understand why some of you guys won't take this opportunity to more than double up your pahala???
Somehow I remembered a friend of mine who said this :

Nak buat macam mana aku memang susah sembahyang. Takpe, lepas duduk neraka aku masuk syurga pulak. Orang Islam kan mesti masuk syurga...(a bit like that he said)

U believe that?? I was shocked as well, really. I think I heard from the imam just now; he said that a day (or is it a year?) in hell equals 60 years in the world?
The most painful feeling that we feel in Earth is the minimum that we would feel in hell. And he doesn't mind!
Absolutely incredible and unbelievable!
I'd work my socks off to go straight to heaven rather than experience even a minute in hell. That is absolutely the most craziest word that I have ever heard in my life! Seriously!
So guys, remember :

Berpuasa di dalam bulan Ramadhan kalau amalan yang wajib tak di buat (seperti sembahyang), apa hasil yang anda dapat hanyalah lapar dan dahaga!

Lebih baik tak payah puasa begitu. Buat penat aje...

Sori ter 'dakwah' pulak.

Just another random ramblings.
-out-