Aku bingung.

Apa yang aku mahu sebenarnya?

Apa yang aku harapkan?

Apa yang aku impikan?

Keliru. Sungguh. Celaru.

Tak tahu apa yang aku nak. Tak tahu jalan apa yang aku harus ambil.

Adakah sebab nawaitu aku dulu lain dari apa yang aku nak sekarang?

Dulu nawaitu aku nak jadik pilot selepas belajar. Aku nak pass fizik dengan add maths supaya cukup syarat.

Alhamdulillah, aku dapat lebih dari apa yang aku sasarkan.

Rezeki bertambah murah apabila diberi peluang untuk sambung belajar di UiTM.

Tapi nawaitu aku nak menjadi juruterbang. Ayah tahu, adik tahu.

Tapi ayah mahu ku teruskan belajar sebagai pelapik di kala waktu susah. Aku paham dan aku setuju.

Manusia hanya boleh merancang, Allah SWT menentukan.

Adik aku meninggal dalam usaha mencapai cita2 aku dan dia.

Hati berbelah bagi.

Kalau teruskan cita2, mak mesti sedih dan fobia, ayah juga.

Aku ada degree perakaunan, macam2 boleh ambil.

Tapi, tu la. Niat tak sama. Nak buat keputusan pun tak tahu.

Jadi memilih, terlalu pandang ke hadapan, over ambitious.

Akhirnya apa2 pun tak dapat.

Istikharah dan doa supaya keputusan yang tepat dalam hidup dapat dibuat.

Its been a long time...

I miss him.
Doing nothing at home makes me bored.
And when i'm bored, only one person comes to mind.
Nothing is boring when he's there with me. There's always something that's entertaining.
Sometimes I wish I have so many things to do just to keep my mind off things. Like remembering the past.

He's gone now.
And i haven't visited him for a very long time. Very very long time.
He must be lonely too, huh? Just like me.
Going there exhausts me.
My mental state is just not up to the task.

Got to get myself a job real quick.
I don't look good compared to my other friends.
They look oh-so-successful and oh-so-happy and oh-so-responsible and reliable.

Nak jadik suami orang pon x boleeeeeeey...

Stop!

I need to get my life back in order.

I have to stop facebook-ing;
and lazying around in front of the computer, surfing the net 24/7.

I haven't read the paper in ages.
I don't know what's going on in the world.
I have to start reading from the front to the back; no skipping. Even the business section.
I'm entering the working world.
There's no place for a lazy bum and clueless young adult in this world.

I need to get myself back in order. Stat.

Stop logging into facebook is a start.

Poison

It is much easier to criticize your own country than moving to a new and 'better' country.

It is much easier to find faults of your own country than finding faults of another.

It is much easier to criticize your own country's politicians than be a good one yourself.

It is much easier to criticize and blame others than looking at your faults and weaknesses.

Less hate, more love and appreciation.

Band 5, so what??

I am not convinced with the statement "your good english can compensate for your low cgpa".

Really, how true is it? So what if i am good in english (sikit2 bole la...)?

I am not interviewing to become an english teacher. I want to be in finance.

English can only help me in writing reports or presentation and communication. But that's it really.

Ratios, financial statements, portfolios; all those stuff need brains, not english.

I'm feeling a bit low.

I don't think i can get a good job due to my bad results.

I'm not smart enough to be employed by big companies. Hmmm...

Aaaaaaaah!

OMG! I forgot i have a blog! LOL

No, i did not forget.

Just lazy. When I started, it was a fad.

Then I found out it was a great place to spill everything from your heart. And as a travel log.

But, when nothing interesting happens, this is the result.

NO UPDATE.

Berhabuk blog nyer.

Nanti2 la aku hapdet. Kalau ade cerita gempak gaban nyer ke, melancong lagi ke, (I went to S.Korea last year, but too lazy to write here. ;p)

Anyways, see u laters, chums! And keep up the good work my fellow bloggers!

In an ideal muslim world...

Today, something came to my mind.

What if, we live in an ideal muslim world;

where women do not wear skimpy, tight-fitting clothes and instead wear baju kurung or jubah.

Would the perception of beauty change?

We have been fed with images of women in skimpy clothing and tight fitting clothes ever since we were born.

In effect, we assume beautiful women must have curvaceous body, long legs, tall, flowing hair, this kind of face, that skin colour, this big of a breast, etc, etc...

If we didn't grow up exposed to those kind of images?

I'm sure the word beauty will carry a different meaning.

Beautiful is the heart, the smile, the personality.

No one is judged based on appearance as no comparison is made.

No one set what is beautiful and what is not.

There will be no 'She has a beautiful body like that certain model', 'She has a beautiful face like that actress'.

There will only be 'She is beautiful'

If only we live in an ideal muslim world, I believe that no women will be discriminated, and prejudiced based on looks.

But we live in the reality.

What we can do is to change our mindset, to look into a person's ability, personality and inner beauty. Not the faces, the body.

As beauty is only skin deep, and it doesn't last forever.

Hmm.

Food for thought.