I remember...

I remember, when we were small you would hold my hand and shout "Mak! Ayah!" whenever we got lost in the shopping complex. I on the other hand, would take us to the nearest security guard to help us find them.

I remember, after school, we would sit in front of the tv attentively to watch cartoon until mom shouts at us "Abang, Ariff, mandi! Dah malam ni!"

I remember, instead of doing our homework, we would lie on the bed, side by side and read Mutiara Naga (Dragonball) one volume at a time. You always read faster than I do.

I remember, you always have a 'buku conteng' and inside you would draw your own comic book. I would get interested and persuade you to let me draw as well. I always end up ruining the plot.

I remember, we used to fold a piece of paper into a mask and pretend that we are part of the Power Rangers and fight against ourselves with paper swords.

I remember, when we had a great fight, I would be the first one to run into our room and lock the door. Because you always have a kitchen knife in your hands. You crazy bastard.

I remember, we always played football on the lawn, dribbling around the trees. The trees were smaller then and the lawn was bigger.

I remember, the only way to get you out of your bad mood is to play PlayStation together. I don't play them anymore because you are not here.

I remember, every Sunday night we would watch Hong Kong movie together on the tv and would talk about it before we go to sleep. Usually about how beautiful the heroine is.

I remember, I was very happy and envious when you were accepted as a pilot cadet.

I remembered your happy face whenever I ask you "camne terbang? best tak?"

I remembered every week I would ask mom, "bile Arip cuti?"

I remember, when you were home, every week we would go to Summit Shopping Complex to watch any movie that came out. Most of them suck...

I remember, we would lie on the bed together side by side watching anime that you downloaded. When the story gets interesting, we would rush out of the room to go to the toilet or prepare food before rushing in back again.

I remembered the day mom called me, sobbing saying that your plane got lost...

I remembered seeing your battered body with dried blood on the steel bed at the morgue...

I remembered kissing your cold forehead before your face is covered with white cloth.

I remembered lowering your body into the empty dirt hole and saying my final goodbye...

I remembered crying every week whenever I'm alone in my room. Outside I act fine and dandy. I still do even today...

I remember...I remember...I remember.