Saturday, August 21, 2010

Kau Pergi...

Sayu terpisah
Hikayat indah kini hanya tinggal sejarah
Berhembus angin rindu
Begitu nyamannya terhidu wangian kasihmu
Hujan lebat mencurah kini
Bagaikan tiada henti
Kaulah laguku kau irama terindah
Tak lagi kudengari
Kau pergi... pergi...
Sepi tanpa kata
Terdiam dan kaku tak daya kau kulupa
Apa pun kata mereka
Biarkan kenangan berbunga di ranting usia
Hujan lebat mencurah kini
Bagaikan tiada henti
Kaulah laguku kau irama terindah
Tak lagi kudengari
Kau pergi... pergi...
Hujan lebat mencurah kini
Bagaikan tiada henti
Kaulah laguku kau irama terindah
Tak lagi kudengari
Kau pergi... pergi...
Kau pergi... pergi...
Pergi...


Sunday, July 18, 2010

Mak Cik Cleaner

"Tingkat ni banyak Cina ke?" tanya mak cik tu.
"Tak la. Banyak Melayu. Kenapa mak cik?" aku tanya balik.
"Kenapa bersepah sangat lantai ni dengan tisu??" "Baru sehari takde orang cuci. Huh" keluh mak cik tu.

Kesian mak cik cleaner. Seksa dia kena bersihkan tandas tu. Tisu berterabur kat lantai, melekat2. Abu rokok dengan puntung rokok berterabur merata2. Ade je tong sampah dengan pasir untuk cucuh rokok tu, tapi orang suka bawak masuk jamban.
Mak cik tu baik. Tandas tu dia tutup untuk bersihkan, tapi dia masih kasi aku masuk untuk aku tukar baju. Berborak2 la kite.

Tandas tu memang kotor. Nama je kerja kat bank.

Orang2 sini terlalu selesa ada orang tolong bersihkan tandas 4x sehari. Tak pernah rasa kasihan dan beryukur.
Tolong lah, mak cik cleaner tu manusia biasa jugak. Ade perasaan, ade rase penat. Tak kesian ke kat dia?

"Diorang tu taktau ke mak cik keje teruk bersihkan tandas ni? Nak buat kerja HALAL pun susah. Takde orang hargai."

Tukang kutip sampah, tukang bersihkan longkang, sapu jalan, mak cik cleaner, semua ni kerja yang orang pandang hina dan remeh.
Tapi orang tak tau ke ni la kerja yang paling penting kat negara kita ni?
Tong sampah tak penuh berulat busuk penuh gagak; longkang tak tersumbat sampai banjir, jalan takde bangkai, selut, tanah, selamat untuk kereta dan motor; tandas pejabat dan awam tak busuk, najis bersepah2, busuk dan rosak, geli dan berkuman.
Takde diorang, sumpah korang taknak tinggal sini.
Hargai pengorbanan orang lain. Lagi2 mereka yang berusaha bersungguh2 untuk memberikan kita kesenangan dan keselesaan.
Gaji diorang mungkin sikit, tapi mereka la yang sanggup buat semua kerja yang kita tak sanggup buat.

"Mak cik buat kerja halal dik. Kat luar sana tu banyak makan gaji haram. Kereta besar, tapi rumah flet je. Dik rase camne die dapat kereta tu?"

Wallahualam.

Mak cik la hero negara.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Sweat.

I want a break from accounting, so i got a break from accounting.
Lessen the burden on my soul. And mind.

Do I like my new job?
Heck no!
Answering calls and solve their problems is not my cup of tea.
I get to do competitors' research.
I get to test their new online program.
I'm the youngest, so they expect I know all things old people don't.

I appreciate the trust and responsibility. And the workload.
No job is easy.
Earning money works a sweat.

I'll get around it somehow.
To the job I love most.
In the mean time, Alhamdulillah.

I'll take care of the bills, papi.
I'll give you extra allowance, mommy.
Brother's gonna bring you to the movies.
What? Toy Story?
Sure, gladly!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Of Lamborghini and Degree.

Convocation timeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay not.

What's so special, huh? huh?? huh???
Hot and humid, the hall is not nice (avoiding using negative word, like ugly. lolz), not grand, plain, old, creaky, dangerous (kinda look like it).

I've seen my friends' convocation overseas. OMFGBBQWTF! MAJESTIC! That's how it should be done.
The hall is grand. Or, maybe a stadium. Full of win.
I want a freaking ceremony in a park!!! That's hot! No. Not hot hot. But hot awesome hot.
I'd like to show you a picture. I kinda saw a picture of a friend of mine, his ceremony was freaking cool. But i forgot who, hence I can't find the picture.
So, no picture.
Imagine it yourself.
At night, on a park, with lots of lights.
Awesomeness.

Sourgrapes.

Actually, the fact is, I'm just plain disappointed. I'm not proud at all of my achievements. I think it is below par. Waaaaaay below.
I felt it when I took my Diploma. I set my mind not to feel the same thing when I take my Degree.

Alas.

Hence the name of the blog. I screwed up.

...


But I'm sure I'll forget all about it when I get my hand on my first million ringgit.

And Lamborghini.

Sick.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Balls!

I didn't bust my balls for more than 16 years just to be your Average Joe!
I want to be more than that!

I'm gonna take any opportunity by the scruff on the neck and make it something new and successful!

I have a point to prove.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Aku bingung.

Apa yang aku mahu sebenarnya?
Apa yang aku harapkan?
Apa yang aku impikan?

Keliru. Sungguh. Celaru.

Tak tahu apa yang aku nak. Tak tahu jalan apa yang aku harus ambil.
Adakah sebab nawaitu aku dulu lain dari apa yang aku nak sekarang?

Dulu nawaitu aku nak jadik pilot selepas belajar. Aku nak pass fizik dengan add maths supaya cukup syarat.
Alhamdulillah, aku dapat lebih dari apa yang aku sasarkan.
Rezeki bertambah murah apabila diberi peluang untuk sambung belajar di UiTM.

Tapi nawaitu aku nak menjadi juruterbang. Ayah tahu, adik tahu.
Tapi ayah mahu ku teruskan belajar sebagai pelapik di kala waktu susah. Aku paham dan aku setuju.
Manusia hanya boleh merancang, Allah SWT menentukan.
Adik aku meninggal dalam usaha mencapai cita2 aku dan dia.
Hati berbelah bagi.

Kalau teruskan cita2, mak mesti sedih dan fobia, ayah juga.
Aku ada degree perakaunan, macam2 boleh ambil.
Tapi, tu la. Niat tak sama. Nak buat keputusan pun tak tahu.
Jadi memilih, terlalu pandang ke hadapan, over ambitious.
Akhirnya apa2 pun tak dapat.

Istikharah dan doa supaya keputusan yang tepat dalam hidup dapat dibuat.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Its been a long time...

I miss him.
Doing nothing at home makes me bored.
And when i'm bored, only one person comes to mind.
Nothing is boring when he's there with me. There's always something that's entertaining.
Sometimes I wish I have so many things to do just to keep my mind off things. Like remembering the past.

He's gone now.
And i haven't visited him for a very long time. Very very long time.
He must be lonely too, huh? Just like me.
Going there exhausts me.
My mental state is just not up to the task.

Got to get myself a job real quick.
I don't look good compared to my other friends.
They look oh-so-successful and oh-so-happy and oh-so-responsible and reliable.

Nak jadik suami orang pon x boleeeeeeey...

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Stop!

I need to get my life back in order.

I have to stop facebook-ing;
and lazying around in front of the computer, surfing the net 24/7.

I haven't read the paper in ages.
I don't know what's going on in the world.
I have to start reading from the front to the back; no skipping. Even the business section.
I'm entering the working world.
There's no place for a lazy bum and clueless young adult in this world.

I need to get myself back in order. Stat.

Stop logging into facebook is a start.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Poison

It is much easier to criticize your own country than moving to a new and 'better' country.

It is much easier to find faults of your own country than finding faults of another.

It is much easier to criticize your own country's politicians than be a good one yourself.

It is much easier
to criticize and blame others than looking at your faults and weaknesses.

Less hate, more love and appreciation.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Band 5, so what??

I am not convinced with the statement "your good english can compensate for your low cgpa".
Really, how true is it? So what if i am good in english (sikit2 bole la...)?
I am not interviewing to become an english teacher. I want to be in finance.
English can only help me in writing reports or presentation and communication. But that's it really.
Ratios, financial statements, portfolios; all those stuff need brains, not english.

I'm feeling a bit low.
I don't think i can get a good job due to my bad results.
I'm not smart enough to be employed by big companies. Hmmm...

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Aaaaaaaah!

OMG! I forgot i have a blog! LOL
No, i did not forget.
Just lazy. When I started, it was a fad.
Then I found out it was a great place to spill everything from your heart. And as a travel log.
But, when nothing interesting happens, this is the result.
NO UPDATE.
Berhabuk blog nyer.

Nanti2 la aku hapdet. Kalau ade cerita gempak gaban nyer ke, melancong lagi ke, (I went to S.Korea last year, but too lazy to write here. ;p)

Anyways, see u laters, chums! And keep up the good work my fellow bloggers!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

In an ideal muslim world...

Today, something came to my mind.
What if, we live in an ideal muslim world;
where women do not wear skimpy, tight-fitting clothes and instead wear baju kurung or jubah.
Would the perception of beauty change?

We have been fed with images of women in skimpy clothing and tight fitting clothes ever since we were born.
In effect, we assume beautiful women must have curvaceous body, long legs, tall, flowing hair, this kind of face, that skin colour, this big of a breast, etc, etc...

If we didn't grow up exposed to those kind of images?
I'm sure the word beauty will carry a different meaning.
Beautiful is the heart, the smile, the personality.
No one is judged based on appearance as no comparison is made.
No one set what is beautiful and what is not.
There will be no 'She has a beautiful body like that certain model', 'She has a beautiful face like that actress'.
There will only be 'She is beautiful'

If only we live in an ideal muslim world, I believe that no women will be discriminated, and prejudiced based on looks.
But we live in the reality.
What we can do is to change our mindset, to look into a person's ability, personality and inner beauty. Not the faces, the body.
As beauty is only skin deep, and it doesn't last forever.
Hmm.
Food for thought.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The past and the present

You forget the past, and look towards the future

But can you really forget about the past when it was the most interesting, fun, exciting, memorable time of your life? And suddenly the happiness was robbed off you. Okay, not robbed, but taken back.

The day he died, I made a solemn promise that I would visit his grave every morning every day. But until today, I could not fulfill that promise. I still cannot and do not like to go there.

Every time I go, I am filled with grief and sadness. I don't like it, I hate it. That is why, if I wanted to go there, I'd bring along Syahidatul.
Going with my family too, is not a wonderful experience. They make painful faces that I could not look at. Except maybe my sisters, who are excellent in hiding their emotions.
I do not know how long this feeling will last. I am always filled with guilt towards him, but if he were in my shoes, he would understand.
At the moment, let me ride the wave and wait till the ocean is calm again.

Happy Birthday bro. We always celebrated together, but good things will always come to an end.
But fret not, as I will surely be there to meet you (and so is our family) and we'll celebrate together again, as a family.

with love,
brother

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Guts and gusto

Hye people. Its been a long time, isn't it?
I've been very happy, and happy people don't have things to talk very much. ;p
Happy convocation guys, all of you deserved it.
All those sweat and tears, all those steps you took to get to class (when the elevators are not working), the marching in Kesatria, the Hari Kemerdekaan celebration at the stadium, the awful registration process we go through every semester; all of those for that particular day. Convocation.
You guys did well. Some of you bloody well!
I witnessed your sacrifices, i saw how you guys worked so hard, it wasn't easy, but you guys made it!
Absolutely proud, guys! Four and a half years! Straight after SPM! Others got big breaks after SPM, we went straight back to hell! Did it with guts, finished with gusto!
I am not so fortunate, along with few other guys (and gals), consequences of mistakes that we made, but truthfully we share the happiness that u guys felt.
We went through the same thing, together. We just got stuck somewhere in the middle (in my case, at the end).
You guys achievements does not hearten us, instead we get motivation. It lit the fire in us to work extra harder to catch up to you guys. We want to experience it too. We worked hard too. We deserve it too.
I was very happy to see Syahidatul happy! So do watching you guys at the ceremony. All full of smiles.
Good luck everyone. Good luck in your life and your future undertakings.
Be successful, but never forget the memories and bonds that we have. Successful people never forget those things.

OMEDETO! TAHNIAH! CONGRATULATIONS!

p.s. aku dah datang korang nyer konvo, datang la jugak aku punya. (T.T)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

730 days...

What a wonderful feeling. I feel like I have achieved something memorable. I don't achieve much, but this is special. Wonderful. Full of LOVE! ♥♥♥ hehe
To my dearest Syahidatul, Happy 2nd Anniversary.
It wasn't easy, but we made it.
I hope it will lead to another type of anniversary, one which any couple will be proud of.
Here's hoping; wishing it would come true and it lasts forever and ever and ever and ever....

Here's to 730 days of pure joy and happiness!


Thursday, August 27, 2009

I found a blog.

I found a blog.

The author is a soon-to-be-doctor, currently doing his internship (what's the term for medic students?) in Egypt.
Very awesome blog, inspirational, emotional, powerful. He describes his experience, adventure vividly, u feel like you are there with him, beside him and watching the whole thing.
But, this blog is not for those with a faint heart. His post sometimes contains pictures that are quite disturbing (dead babies, for example...)
Other than that, a wonderful blog. Tells a story of a doctor's life (or, soon to be doctor) perfectly.
Wonder what a medic student go through during his/her course of learning? Read the blog. Highly recommended.

I present to you,

faizalbobby.blogspot

p.s. to doc, sorry i post your link even before you agree to it. It is too awesome not to unveil it to my readers as soon as possible. haha! If you disagree, tell me and i'll remove it in a flash.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

1 tahun...

2o tahun bersama rasa sekejap bagai sekelip mata...
1 tahun tak bersama rasa lama tak terkata...
Sampai abang mati, setiap hari abang akan ingat Ariff.
Semoga kite berjumpa lagi, insyaAllah di Syurga kelak.


28/12/1988 - 20/08/2008
al Fatihah...
blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com

Sunday, August 16, 2009

hm hm hm...

dah lama xde post baru. x tau la, mood nak berblogging xde sekarang ni. bukan xde isu nak luahkan, tapi bila part nak ber-blogging, xnak keluar pulak isu tu.
blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com

kenapa dalam BM pulak ni? haha

sebab ayah aku baca blog ni. dia mengkritik BI aku, mengatakan BI aku semakin teruk.
blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com

jadi, aku akan berhenti berblogging dalam BI sehingga mutu BI aku meningkat.

jadi sekarang, aku bercadang untuk berhenti berblogging buat sementara waktu. bak kata omputeh, 'in a hiatus'.
mahu kumpul ilham, mood, memperbaiki bahasa dan apa2 je lah yang diperlukan untuk berblogging. haha.

akhir kata, selamat berpuasa dan jaga diri elok2.
selsema babi tengah membabi sekarang. jadi, ambil langkah berjaga2 sebelum terlambat.
ashraf sayang anda semua! hahahaha!

blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Adik yang berjasa...

Umrah ke2 dalam 2 tahun. Satu keluarga pergi, termasuk maktok, mak dah dan mak esah. Ariff belanja. Alhamdulillah. Terima kasih Ariff.

Ayah aku kata; "Abang nak sambung belajar, sambung la. Ayah boleh support. Ariff punya duit banyak..."
Hati sayu lagi sedih "Patutnya abang yang sponsor adik belajar, bukan sebaliknya..."

Dah 22 tahun, dah cukup tua untuk menjalankan tanggungjawab sebagai seorang abang. Tapi x dapat pun berkhidmat untuk adik yang tersayang. Silap kat mana ni?

"Ya Allah, kau tabahkan lah hati ku, kuatkan semangat ku, berikan aku kejayaan di dunia dan akhirat semoga aku dapat berjasa pada keluarga ku. Kau berkatilah roh arwah adik ku, berikan lah aku peluang untuk berjumpa dengannya di akhirat nanti. Amiiiin"

Thursday, July 16, 2009

A very touching and sad story...T_T

Detik-detik Rasulullah SAW Menghadapi Sakaratul Maut

Ada sebuah kisah tentang cinta yang sebenar-benar cinta yang dicontohkan Allah melalui kehidupan Rasul-Nya.

Pagi itu, walaupun langit telah mulai menguning, burung-burung gurun enggan
mengepakkan sayap. Pagi itu, Rasulullah dengan suara terbatas memberikan kutbah,
"Wahai umatku, kita semua ada dalam kekuasaan Allah dan cinta kasih-Nya. Maka taati
dan bertakwalah kepada-Nya. Kuwariskan dua perkara pada kalian,Al Qur'an dan
sunnahku. Barang siapa mencintai sunnahku, bererti mencintai aku dan kelak orang-orang yang mencintaiku, akan masuk syurga bersama-sama aku."

Khutbah singkat itu diakhiri dengan pandangan mata Rasulullah yang tenang dan
penuh minat menatap sahabatnya satu persatu. Abu Bakar menatap mata itu dengan
berkaca-kaca, Umar dadanya naik turun menahan nafas dan tangisnya. Usman menghela nafas panjang dan Ali menundukkan kepalanya dalam-dalam. Isyarat itu telah datang, saatnya sudah tiba."Rasulullah akan meninggalkan kita semua,"keluh hati semua sahabat.

Kala itu. Manusia tercinta itu, hampir selesai menunaikan tugasnya di dunia.Tanda-tanda itu semakin kuat,tatkala Ali dan Fadhal dengan cergas menangkap Rasulullah yang
berkeadaan lemah dan goyah ketika turun dari mimbar. Disaat itu, kalau mampu, seluruh sahabat yang hadir di sana pasti akan menahan detik-detik berlalu. Matahari kian tinggi, tapi pintu rumah Rasulullah masih tertutup. Sedang di dalamnya, Rasulullah sedang terbaring lemah dengan keningnya yang berkeringat dan membasahi pelepah kurma yang menjadi alas tidurnya.

Tiba-tiba dari luar pintu terdengar seorang yang berseru mengucapkan salam.
"Bolehkah saya masuk?" tanyanya. Tapi Fatimah tidak mengizinkannya masuk,
"Maafkanlah, ayahku sedang demam," kata Fatimah yang membalikkan badan
dan menutup pintu.Kemudian ia kembali menemani ayahnya yang ternyata sudah
membuka mata dan bertanya pada Fatimah,
"Siapakah itu wahai anakku?""Tak tahulah ayahku, orang sepertinya baru sekali ini aku
melihatnya," tutur Fatimah lembut. Lalu, Rasulullah menatap puterinya itu dengan
pandangan yang menggetarkan. Seolah-olah bahagian demi bahagian wajah anaknya itu
hendak dikenangnya.
"Ketahuilah, dialah yang menghapuskan kenikmatan sementara, dialah yang
memisahkan pertemuan di dunia.Dialah malaikat maut," kata Rasulullah,
Fatimah pun menahan ledakkan tangisnya. Malaikat maut datang menghampiri, tapi
Rasulullah menanyakan kenapa Jibril tidak ikut sama menyertainya. Kemudian panggilah
Jibril yang sebelumnya sudah bersiap di atas langit dunia menyambut roh kekasih Allah
dan penghulu dunia ini."Jibril, jelaskan apa hakku nanti di hadapan Allah?" Tanya
Rasululllah dengan suara yang amat lemah."Pintu-pintu langit telah terbuka, para
malaikat telah menanti rohmu. Semua syurga terbuka lebar menanti kedatanganmu," kata Jibril. Tapi itu ternyata tidak membuatkan Rasulullah lega, matanya masih penuh
kecemasan."Engkau tidak senang mendengar khabar ini?" Tanya Jibril lagi. "Khabarkan
kepadaku bagaimana nasib umatku kelak?""Jangan khuatir, wahai Rasul Allah, aku
pernah mendengar Allah berfirman kepadaku: 'Kuharamkan syurga bagi siapa saja,
kecuali umat Muhammad telah berada didalamnya," kata Jibril

Detik-detik semakin dekat, saatnya Izrail melakukan tugas. Perlahan roh Rasulullah
ditarik. Nampak seluruh tubuh Rasulullah bersimbah peluh, urat-urat lehernya
menegang."Jibril, betapa sakit sakaratul maut ini." Perlahan Rasulullah mengaduh.
Fatimah terpejam, Ali yang disampingnya menunduk semakin dalam dan
Jibril memalingkan muka"Jijikkah kau melihatku, hingga kau palingkan wajahmu Jibril?"
Tanya Rasulullah pada Malaikat penghantar wahyu itu."Siapakah yang sanggup, melihat
kekasih Allah direnggut ajal," kata Jibril.

Sebentar kemudian terdengar Rasulullah memekik, kerana sakit yang tidak tertahankan
lagi."Ya Allah, dahsyat nian maut ini, timpakan saja semua siksa maut ini kepadaku,
jangan pada umatku."Badan Rasulullah mulai dingin, kaki dan dadanya sudah tidak
bergerak lagi. Bibirnya bergetar seakan hendak membisikkan sesuatu, Ali segera
mendekatkan telinganya."Uushiikum bis shalati, wa maa malakat aimanuku,peliharalah
shalat dan peliharalah orang-orang lemah di antaramu." Di luar pintu, tangisan mulai
terdengar bersahutan, sahabat saling berpelukan. Fatimah menutupkan tangan di
wajahnya, dan Ali kembali mendekatkan telinganya ke bibir Rasulullah yang mulai kebiruan.

"Ummatii, ummatii, ummatiii…" - "Umatku, umatku, umatku" Dan, berakhirlah hidup
manusia mulia yang memberi sinaran itu. Kini, mampukah kita mencintai sepertinya?
Allahumma sholli 'ala Muhammad wa baarik wa salim 'alaihi.
Betapa cintanya Rasulullah s.a.w kepada kita. Sampaikan kisah ini kepada sahabat-sahabat muslim lainnya agar timbul kesedaran untuk mencintai Allah dan RasulNya, seperti Allah dan RasulNya mencintai kita. Kerana sesungguhnya selain daripada itu hanyalah fana belaka.
Amin...

-credit to Rahimi-